I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
