Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize