Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
birth control should be required to get into college
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
