Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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