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I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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