i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
