He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
