I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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