Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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