Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
