Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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