last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
