New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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