Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In other news, I just burned my penis
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
