Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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