I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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