I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
