it's not cheating when I paid for it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
