My room smells like vodka and shame
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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