thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
