you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize