belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
