Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
