i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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