Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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(805): View more from California

they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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(480): View more from Arizona

Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just got laid.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?

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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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(248): View more from Michigan

If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

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(+81): View more from

And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.

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