I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
