I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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