UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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