white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize