i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
