i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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