I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize