I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
