Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
