Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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