I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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