Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
