ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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