I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All the doctor said was why
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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