dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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