How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
