you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
