i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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