Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
