I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
