Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
