That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
