My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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