I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
