why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
