i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
