i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
