No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Green mimosas i think yes
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
