We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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