he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
