8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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