i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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