aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
