where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
