im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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