You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
