All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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